Highland Fires Page 18
Lugus then recalled the many times his father had said as soon as he learned to control his temper he had many things to speak to him about. Lugus realized now that those “many things” were the tattoos and what each represented.
He swallowed and raised his gaze to Tane. “That’s how I managed to escape the Realm of Shadows, isn’t it?”
Tane nodded. “Each marking holds certain power, regardless of whether you are mortal or immortal. As long as you live, you will be able to open gateways.”
“And what else?”
“I’m not sure,” Tane said. “For you to once again leave the Realm of Shadows, you must touch this marking.”
Lugus looked down to see Tane pointing to the horse tattoo on his right hand that ran from the middle of his forearm to his wrist with intricate knotwork intertwined with the horse.
He still stared at the marking when Aimery came to stand beside him with several water skins. Lugus took them from Aimery and draped them over his neck and through one arm.
He looked at Tane. “I’m ready.”
Tane nodded and glanced at Rufina before returning his gaze to Lugus. “There’s going to be some pain.”
Lugus gritted his teeth. The pain he remembered vividly, but it was nothing compared to the endless darkness that would envelop him or the mind-numbing emptiness that stretched forever.
“I can handle the pain,” he said as he stepped closer to Tane.
The Draconian’s eyes held understanding, understanding Lugus didn’t need--or want. The mere thought that someone might know what he had been through and would go through again shook his resolve.
~ ~ ~
Ahryn woke slowly and smiled into the sunlight that streamed across her face. She stretched and felt her muscles moan in disapproval. Lugus had promised to love her last night, and he had. Many times.
She turned to reach for him but found the settee empty. Her hand reached out and she felt the coolness of the fabric. She didn’t think more of it, as she rolled onto her back and looked at the dawning sky through the windows.
Lugus had surprised her last night. Before he had always held a piece of himself back, but last eve, he had given her everything. He might not have said the words, but she knew in his actions and the way he made love to her that he loved her.
She had wondered at the sadness in his blue eyes as he had kissed her as if he might never see her again.
Ahryn gasped and jerked upright.
“Lugus, nay,” she said and scrambled off the settee. She hastily grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around her as she ran toward the doors.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she urged her feet to move quicker. She couldn’t believe Lugus would dare to leave for the Realm of Shadows without saying good-bye, but what hurt worse was that she knew he didn’t plan to return.
She jerked open the door and lifted the bottom of the sheet as she lengthened her strides and ran to the throne room.
~ ~ ~
Lugus nodded to Tane and watched as the Draconian clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. A heartbeat later, Tane extended his arms in front of him and opened his palms outward. Slowly, Tane moved his arms upward and then made a large circle with his arms.
The air around the throne room seemed to halt, and then with a whoosh the portal opened. Lugus stared at the abyss and wondered how he had come to be at the portal yet again. He had sworn never to return to the darkness.
“Lugus.”
He turned his head to Rufina.
“Be careful.”
He swallowed and nodded. He inhaled deeply and started to move into the portal when Aimery’s hand on his arm stopped him.
Lugus met the Fae commander’s gaze and waited.
“I wish there was another way,” Aimery said.
“There isn’t. We all do what we must.” He looked at the abyss before he turned back to Aimery. “Take care of her for me.”
“Take care of….” Aimery trailed off as realization dawned.
Lugus clapped Tane on the shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Just find Theron.”
~ ~ ~
Tears blinded Ahryn as she stumbled and nearly fell down the long hallway. It was as though something held her back from reaching Lugus in time. She had to see him, had to speak to him before he left to find Theron.
She swiped at the tears as she reached the throne room and pulled open the doors.
For a moment she couldn’t breathe as she stared at the great hole that took up nearly an entire wall. Then she saw Lugus and Tane standing in front of it.
“Nay,” she said but it only came out in a whisper. When Lugus took a step toward the portal she reached out her hand.
“Lugus! Nay,” she screamed.
~ ~ ~
Lugus once more faced the yawning hole. He didn’t know how hard it would be to make himself enter it, and for a moment he feared he couldn’t.
Then he heard her. He closed his eyes and prayed for the courage he knew didn’t exist in his body. Despite what he knew he should do, he looked over his shoulder to see Ahryn staggering toward him, a sheet clutched around her body as tears coursed down her face.
The pain in her mystical blue eyes was nearly more than he could bear. Before he changed his mind, he stepped through the portal. With Ahryn screaming his name echoing around him.
~ ~ ~
Ahryn collapsed onto the floor. She heard someone screaming Lugus’ name and only dimly realized it was her own voice.
Strong arms wrapped around her, but she wanted nothing to do with them. They didn’t belong to Lugus, but the more she tried to push them away, the harder they held on.
She didn’t have the strength to fight and buried her face in the shoulder as she let the tears fall.
“Don’t give up on him,” Tane whispered in her ear.
Ahryn raised her face to see it was Tane that held her. “You knew.”
It wasn’t a question.
He sighed, his copper eyes full of sadness and regret as he looked at her. “I did.”
“Will he come back?” Ahryn knew she shouldn’t ask, but she had to know.
“That’s up to him.”
The back of her eyes prickled with unshed tears at his words. “My love wasn’t strong enough.”
She felt Tane’s arms tighten around her as he lifted her in his arms and stood.
“Your love had nothing to do with it,” Rufina said from beside her. “In all the time I have known Lugus, I’ve never seen him as protective of someone as he was of you.”
“Then why did he leave?” Ahryn asked, and didn’t miss the look that passed between Aimery, Rufina and Tane.
It was Aimery that finally answered. “Lugus hasn’t escaped his demons.”
Demons that Lugus hadn’t wanted to share with her. Demons that Rufina had asked her to leave alone until Lugus was ready to tell her. Demons she would never know about.
For she knew what they weren’t telling her.
Lugus wasn’t coming back.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lugus gasped as the pain ripped through his body. He tried to wrap his arms around his abdomen but with the force of the portal wasn’t able to do more than think about it.
Just when he thought he might be splintered in two, he landed with a bone jarring thud and the whooshing of the portal ceased.
If he had thought the pain was unbearable while still an immortal, it was near blinding as a mere man. He tried to roll over and groaned as agony radiated from every inch of his body. For several moments, he simply laid there and tried to forget the pain that consumed him.
When the pain had dimmed to a constant, dull ache, Lugus made himself open his eyes. Only blackness met his gaze. A never-ending sea of darkness with no hope of a shred of light or glimmer of happiness. He was stuck in the middle of his one true fear.
How many nights had he slept with a candle burning next to his bed? How many times had he shaken with terror when the night surrounded him?
Nothing survived on this realm for very long, and he knew his time was short. He couldn’t wallow in self-pity, he had to find Theron.
Slowly and with great effort, Lugus gained his feet. The great emptiness he feared was already upon him, but he shoved it aside and took a staggering step.
“Theron,” he bellowed. “Theron, I’m here. I’ve come for you. Rufina needs you. Theron? Theron!”
~ ~ ~
Ahryn’s body came alive as Lugus’ hands moved over her skin. She stretched, arching her back so her breast was near his hand. A sigh escaped her when his hand cupped her breast and squeezed.
“Lugus,” she whispered when his mouth closed over her aching nipple, sending desire spiraling through her to puddle at her sex.
She throbbed, needing to feel him inside her. Only he could quench the yearning, but she knew he would make her wait, bringing her past the point of want to a state of need that left her a massive of quivering nerves.
His fingers parted her nether lips, baring her to his gaze. Her sex clenched eagerly in anticipation. She moaned deep in her throat as his fingers dipped inside of her and then moved gently over her sex, skimming her button with the pad of one finger.
She cried out, begging for more. But he ignored her. His fingers continued their exploration of her sex, dipping deep into her and smearing her juices over her throbbing button. Her hands fisted in the covers as an intense wave of pleasure swept through her.
Somehow she raised her head and watched as he took his rod in his hand and brought it toward her. She spread her legs and bit her lip, impatient to feel his hardness, his heat.
Instead of filling her, he rubbed the head of his rod against her sex making her cry out. She throbbed. She pulsed. She needed.
Excitement ripped through her as he pushed the tip of his rod inside her. She moved her hips to take more of him, but he held her still.
“Not yet,” he whispered and gave her a smile that promised hours of pleasure.
Before she could beg him to fill her, his fingers closed over her button and squeezed while his other hand rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
With each caress, each squeeze, she was becoming mindless with desire. She had no idea how long Lugus teased her. Each time she came close to her climax, he would stop, and each time she cried out for him to relieve her.
He would ignore her cries, concentrating instead on bringing her body the most passionate pleasure she had ever felt.
While he thumbed her nipples and button, she felt him move within her. She arched her hips, silently begging for more of him. That simple move sent her over the top as she exploded in waves of pleasure.
Ahryn came awake, her body still tingling from her dream. She buried her head in the pillow as tears threatened again. It had only been a day without Lugus, but it felt more like a lifetime.
Even in sleep she sought him, but her dreams were more vivid, more heartbreaking. She rose from her bed and left her room to wander the palace.
Queen Rufina had refused to let her leave the palace, saying Ahryn needed them as much as they needed her as they waited for the arrival of Lugus and Theron.
Except she knew only Theron would return.
Her feet were silent as she walked the dark halls. To her surprise she found Tane standing in the moonlight in the throne room. She walked to him and saw his eyes closed. Deciding she wouldn’t intrude, she moved to turn away.
“There is no need for you to leave,” he said.
Ahryn turned around to find him looking at her. “Do you never sleep?”
He shrugged. “I sleep when my body needs it. What brings you here?”
“Nothing,” she lied and turned to the balcony doors. “It’s a beautiful night.”
“It will take him awhile to find Theron. The darkness is like being blind.”
She swallowed and licked her lips as she realized just how much Lugus hated the darkness. “He would wake every morn and watch the sun rise.”
“He hates the darkness. The Realm of Shadows has not a shred of light. No sound can be heard other than the vast emptiness. Just a few moments on that realm will render a strong man insane.”
“Oh, gods. I never understood until just now why he loved the sunrises so much.”
“It takes great courage for a man to face his fears the way Lugus has,” Tane said as he came to stand beside her.
“Lugus is a great man. He hasn’t deserved the life he has endured.” Tane turned to face her. “He is a great man, but it is the trials he has endured that have made him the man he is today.”
“Tell me what he did that he doesn’t think he can be forgiven for?”
For long moments Tane was quiet.
“Nay. Lugus should be the one to tell you.”
She sighed. “Everyone tells me that, yet Lugus won’t speak of it.”
“Do you give up on him so easily?”
She narrowed her gaze on Tane. “You know I haven’t.”
“How strong is your love for him?” She turned her head away. “What kind of question is that?”
“One that Lugus asks himself. He fears what he will see in your eyes once you learn the truth of him.” Her gaze swung back to Tane. “How dare you. You know nothing of the depth of my feelings for Lugus.” “True,” he conceded easily. “However, let us do a little test.”
Ahryn all but rolled her eyes. She had come for solitude, to sit in the place she had last seen Lugus, but she knew that Tane wouldn’t allow her to leave just yet. So, she would play along with his little game. For the moment.
“What test?”
He smiled, though it didn’t reach is copper eyes. “Let’s say Lugus stole. Would you still love him?”
“Aye.”
“Would it matter why he stole?”
“What he did in his past doesn’t matter,” she said, already tired of the game.
“But it does,” Tane replied softly.
Ahryn knew that somehow Tane was trying to tell her something. “All right. If it does matter, then I would want to hear from him why he stole.”
“Let us say he stole to retrieve something that someone took from him, but while he was stealing, he knocked over a prized sculpture, one that no amount of coin can fix.”
“Everything can be fixed,” she said softly as she stared into copper eyes. “What did he do that cannot be fixed, Tane?”
Tane looked away and inhaled deeply. “You know he had to have done something terrible for Theron to strip him of his immortality. Have you not thought of what that could be?”
With one last parting look to her, Tane turned on his heel and left.
Long after Tane had abandoned her, Ahryn thought over his words. She thought of every awful thing Lugus could have done, and regardless of what it was, nothing dissuaded her from her love of him.
But would she ever be able to tell him that?
~ ~ ~
Lugus had no idea how much time had passed. An hour? A day? A year?
Already the madness was creeping in on him, and he didn’t have the strength to keep it at bay. His voice was hoarse from calling out to Theron repeatedly with no answer, and even the water he brought with him didn’t soothe him.
For the most part, Lugus kept his eyes closed. He found that if he left them opened, he strained into the darkness and an ache would start at the base of his skull. Yet, every so often he would forget and open his eyes.
The frustration at not being able to see even an ounce of light, an outline of something was maddening. The silence stretched out like eternity, draining him of hope.
If he wasn’t looking for Theron, he would lay down and allow the realm to take his soul, ending the nightmare he called a life.
Then he thought of Ahryn. She was the only bright spot in life, the only thing that had given freely to him without demanding something in return.
He could
never tell her that he loved her, could never subject her to the horrors he had done, or the vicious looks the Fae were sure to cast her way. Instead, he hoped his actions would tell her once she stopped hating him for leaving.
Despite his request to Aimery that he make Ahryn leave, he was grateful that he had at last one night with her. Her body had been more than he deserved, her cries and moans of pleasure would echo for an eternity in his mind.
She was the only beacon he had.
“Theron,” he tried to shout only to feel sharp needles of pain in his throat.
Lugus felt along his leg for the water container and lifted it to his lips. He only drank a few drops, leaving the rest for Theron when he found him.
The entire Fae kingdom was in his hands. It would be so easy for him to return and take over as rightful heir to the throne, but he couldn’t do that. Power no longer mattered to him.
Righting his wrongs did.
He stopped walking and slowly sank to the ground. He was so tired, his body felt weighted down, whereas he could barely lift his hands.
“Theron,” he whispered as he laid back and closed his eyes. He told himself he would only rest a moment.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lugus jerked awake and listened. He had sworn he had heard his name as if whispered on the wind.
“Lugus.”
There it was again, and it sounded like...Ahryn. He smiled as he slowly sat up. Her sweet voice was like music to his ears. He listened closer but heard only--silence.
His head dropped into his hands. He was going mad. Ahryn wasn’t here, and she wasn’t calling out to him. He was failing Theron, Rufina and Ahryn.
He thought of the Draconian who had dared to betray Theron and the Fae. If Lugus didn’t find Theron and return him, he knew it was just the beginning of what the Draconian’s would do to the Fae.