Highland Dawn Page 22
Her head swung around to face him. “What about him?”
“Don’t you want to go and retrieve him from Rebecca? Raise him? You saved him after all. You have always wanted children.”
Her gaze dropped to the floor before she turned her head back to the fire. “Jamie is better off at Rebecca’s. They will care for him like I never could.”� There was
only one thing left for him to do. He walked to her and went down on his haunches. “Please, come back with me.”
I love you.
“Why?” she asked him, her gaze holding his. “Give me one good reason.”
I love you.
He opened his mouth and again nothing came out. He took a deep breath and tried again. “For me.”
“For you? Why? Will we be together?”
He swallowed and looked down at his hands covering hers. “I would like to think so.”
“Why?”
He rose to his feet and began to pace. “Why all the questions? Isn’t it enough that I want you to come back with me?”
“Nay,” she said calmly.
That stopped him in his tracks. He didn’t know why he thought that would be good enough for her. She deserved better than that. She deserved to be happy. But if he lied to her to get her back to the glen she would never be happy.
He sank onto the bed, his head in his hands. “You don’t belong here. You are hiding from nothing.” He raised his head and found her looking at him her face expressionless. “Your sisters, Frang, the Druids, they all need you.”
“There’s only one person I want to need me.”
“I cannot give you what you want. I’m immortal. We’ve been over this before. If I could give it to you, I would.”
She turned away from him. “Then you should leave.”
For the second time in his life, he had failed. How had it come to this? How could he return to the glen and tell them that he couldn’t bring her back because he hadn’t said the words she needed to hear? And all because he was a coward of the worst kind. He was lower than a snake.
He rose to his feet and grabbed his vest. Maybe Moira was right. Maybe he should leave. He would never be able to work up the courage to tell her of his love, but neither could he tell her sisters the truth.
Without a word to her, he walked from the cottage toward the loch.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Moira choked on a sob and buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t believe Dartayous had left.
What did you expect? You told him to leave.
All because she wanted him to say that he cared for her, that he loved her. She was such a fool. Her pride was costing her even now. Her safe haven of this world was now broken.
She couldn’t stay here. Not after spending this time with Dartayous. Her heart urged her to follow him, to tell him she didn’t care if he loved her or not as long as he stayed. They could build a life together.
She stood so fast her chair flew backward. She raced out of the house without her shoes. Not even the thorns that buried in her feet would stop her from finding Dartayous. But she hadn’t taken ten steps before she stopped. Why was she chasing after him?
All she wanted was for him to admit that he cared for her. She knew he did, but she needed to hear the words. Then she could tell him about the immortal fruit Lugus told her about. She and Dartayous could be together forever.
But it was all a dream if he didn’t admit his feelings. Maybe it was better if he did leave. The longer he stayed the harder it would be to see him go.
She turned back to the cottage and walked inside. As she walked past she closed the door and headed for the bed. Her heart had never felt so heavy. She didn’t know who she was anymore or what she wanted. Everything had become so complicated.
A small laugh escaped her when she remembered thinking as a child that life would be simple and easy. It had been neither and she had learned that the hard way.
For the first time in many years, she thought of her parents. It had been a long time since their deaths and she hated the fact that time moved on as if they had never been. Even she had done so by forgetting about them. She knew Frang would tell her that it was life ensuring that people continued on.
It didn’t matter what it was. All she knew was that she missed her parents. She desperately wanted her mother’s shoulder to lean on and her father’s strong hands to hold her as she cried. But most of all she yearned for their guidance. For too long she had thought she had all the answers and had been proven wrong. Now she didn’t know which way to turn for fear of making yet another wrong choice.
To her great disappointment, there were no answers forthcoming, not that she had expected any. She laid on the bed and stared into the fire hoping she was making the right decision in not following Dartayous. Her heart had been through too much to learn it had been mistaken yet again.
* * * *
Dartayous stayed at the loch until the moon was high in the sky. He had half hoped that Moira would follow him here but hadn’t been surprised when she didn’t.
After all, what did he expect? He hadn’t given her any reason to want to follow him.
Coward.
He was really beginning to hate that word.
Then do something about it.
He rose to his feet intending to do just that. If she wouldn’t return with him to the glen then he would stay with her. He had no reason to go back. Everything he wanted was here. She had even asked him to stay.
He chuckled at his logic though he knew a part of it was this world eating away at his soul. But none of that mattered as long as Moira was here.
He took another long gaze at the loch as the moon reflected its light on the dark waters. He turned and began the trek back to the cottage. The sound of an owl’s wings as it swooped down from a tree jerked him out of his thoughts. His hands went instinctively to his weapons as he came to a halt and for a moment he forgot why he didn’t have them.
His fingers itched to have the cool handle of his sword in his hand, to feel the weight of the weapon as he swung it around him. He longed to hear the clang of swords as he practiced with another Druid Warrior. He missed the impact of sword meeting sword, muscles bunched together in anticipation. He was a warrior.
But not on this realm. At Shadowhaven he was nothing but a man alone on an isle with a beautiful woman whom he loved. Not a bad trade after five hundred years, he mused.
He continued toward the cottage. When he got closer he didn’t see any candles lit or smoke from the chimney. He raced the rest of the way to the cottage and threw open the door. The darkness, black as pitch met his gaze as he stumbled inside. He fumbled around and found a candle.
After he had it lit he held it high so he could see around the room. He found Moira curled up on the bed. He sighed and placed the candle on the table beside the bed. After he had closed the door he took the plaid and draped it over her before he took off his boots and crawled in the bed.
He curled on his side next to her, his arm over her waist. It was late and he didn’t wish to wake her. He would tell her in the morn of his decision. Things would look better in the morning.
At least that’s what he told himself.
* * * *
Things didn’t look better in the morning. He woke to find the sun streaming through an open window. He eased himself from the bed not to wake Moira and stroked the fire in the hearth.
When he turned back to the bed he found her watching him. He smiled. “What would you like to do today?”
“Nothing,” she said.
There was something different about her that put his senses on alert. “What has happened?”
She shrugged one shoulder and tucked the other hand under her head. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like doing anything other than sleeping.”
He pushed aside his mounting fear. Was he too late? Had Shadowhaven reached her soul? Maybe she just needed time. She had died after all.
“No matter. We’ll stay inside today. I�
��ll open all the windows and let the fresh air in.”
She smiled weakly.
“What would you like for breakfast?”
“I’m not hungry.” She closed her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.
Dartayous tried not to panic. This could mean nothing other than she hadn’t slept well the previous night. The fact that she hadn’t moved from the spot he found her in after midnight didn’t sink into his mind.
He pulled up a chair beside her bed and nibbled on an apple. He stayed by her side all morning and tried to think of anything but the fact that he was losing her moment by moment as she slept.
You’re overreacting. Let her sleep. She’s just tired.
Once he’d convinced himself of that, it made the waiting a little easier. When the noon hour approached he rose to look through the tiny kitchen to see what he could find in way of food.
“Too bad I didn’t hunt a hare or pheasant,” he mumbled.
No sooner had the words left his mouth than he glanced at the table to see a dead hare lying on it. He looked around the room and even under the table but didn’t see anyone.
Maybe what Moira said was true that they would never want for anything. She might view it as a saving grace, but he thought of it as...bizarre.
But he was hungry. He picked the hare up and went outside to skin it. When that was done he came back inside and set it on the roasting pit in the hearth. Hopefully by the time it was done Moira would wake.
He couldn’t stand to sit and stare at Moira another minute with wanting to wake her. So, he perused the kitchen until he found the jar of honey and some onions. He sat at the table so he could easily see Moira while he chopped the onions and made the sauce to baste the hare.
Once that was completed he went to the hearth and began to coat the hare with the sauce. He felt sure that the smell of the food would wake her, but once again he was wrong.
He became desperate when the hare had finished cooking and Moira still hadn’t woken. He gently shook her and called her name.
“Moira, ‘tis time to wake.”
Still she didn’t open her eyes.
“Moira,” he yelled and shook her again.
Her eyes fluttered and opened. “Is something wrong?”
A surge of relief swept through him and he knew he wore a silly smile. “’Tis time to eat. I roasted a hare.”
“It smells wonderful,” she said and tried to sit up.
He helped her lean back against the headboard. “I’ll get the food.”
She looked even worse than she had earlier. Her hair was dull, her face a shallow pallor as if she hadn’t seen sun in months, and her eyes were almost lifeless.
Something was definitely wrong.
He handed her a piece of meat and watched as she slowly ate it. He tried to hide the fact that he was studying her while he ate, but he didn’t think he was very successful.
“You didn’t leave.”
He looked up from his food. “Of course I didn’t.”
“I mean yesterday when you left. I thought you were returning to the glen.”
He shook his head. “I just needed to clear my head.”
“So you’re staying?”
He couldn’t tell if she was delighted or sad at the news. Her voice rose, but she wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“I’m staying.”
She resumed eating, but he knew there was more she wanted to say. When the meal was finished he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and hands clasped.
“How do you feel?”
She smiled sleepily. “Very tired. I feel like I’ve been awake for weeks.”
“It’s this realm eating your soul.”
She didn’t answer, nor could she meet his eyes.
“We cannot stay.”
“I’ve told you to give me a reason to leave.”
Tell her. He leaned back and sighed. “I’ve given you several.”
Coward.
He was going to have to kill his conscious. Now.
“Aye, you have.”
He dropped his gaze. Tell her. Tell her now, you fool. ‘Tis simple. Just say I love you.
Aye, he would do it.
“Moira, I...” He raised his eyes and found her asleep. At this rate he wouldn’t have many more chances to tell her of his feelings.
It was rather ridiculous for a great Druid Warrior like himself, an immortal, not be able to say a few words of love. For awhile he had been afraid that was what was keeping her from agreeing to return with him, but now he knew that wasn’t the truth.
She simply didn’t wish to return for anyone or anything.
* * * *
“’Tis been three days,” Glenna said as she paced beside Dartayous and Moira’s unconscious bodies. “I don’t think I can wait much longer.” She and Fiona hadn’t left their sides, and with every passing moment that they
didn’t return was a knife slowly turning in her gut.
“You won’t have much longer to wait.”
She and Fiona whirled around to find Rufina standing in front of them.
“Your majesty,” Glenna said. She and Fiona dipped into a curtsy.
“Please rise.”
They stood and glanced at each other before they looked to the queen.
Rufina walked to Moira and looked down at her. “I bring sad tidings.”
“Nay,” Fiona said and backed away.
Glenna took Fiona’s hand. “Tell us,” she bade Rufina.
“If they do not return soon they never will.”
It was as Glenna feared. “I thought if anyone could bring her back it was Dartayous.”
“There are many things that could keep her from agreeing to return, and if I know Dartayous, he won’t leave without her.”
“Something must have gone wrong.” Glenna was grasping for anything that would explain what was happening.
“We’ll likely never know.”
“I thought the Fae was all knowing,” Fiona said.
Rufina smiled. “Not to everything. The Darkness that claimed Lugus and Shadowhaven are just a few realms that we cannot delve into.”
Glenna refused to think that Dartayous and Moira wouldn’t return. Moira was the strongest woman she knew. Surely if anyone could pull this it was Moira.
“Many things have happened to your sister, Glenna,” Rufina said. “Moira found out she wasn’t as strong as she thought. Do not hold that against her if she doesn’t return. Not everyone is as strong as they would like to be.”
Glenna grasped Fiona’s hand tighter. “Thank you, your majesty. It was very gracious of you to come here yourself.”
“I must return to my people.” Rufina started to walk away, but turned back to them. “Thank you for all you have done.”
Glenna nodded to the queen and watched her walk away. She didn’t stop Fiona when she tugged her hand free. Fiona needed time alone, and so did she. She had some praying to do.
* * * *
Moira woke to the sound of her own name. It took her a moment to realize someone was calling to her. She slowly opened her eyes and found Dartayous staring at her.
“Did you cook again?” she asked with a smile.
There was no smile in return. “We have to talk.”
She didn’t like the sound of that or the seriousness of his tone. Something was about to happen, and by the fear pooling in her belly she had an idea of what it was.
“Talk,” she said. While he struggled to find the right words she made herself more comfortable on the bed. Even though she knew what he had to say was important all she could think about was getting back to sleep.
“Our time here is coming to an end,” he said. “You cannot live in this paradise as you call it. The sleep that is pulling you is taking you away. You will be between worlds, forever restless and looking for something.”
“How do you know this?” She didn’t like his words or the fact that they scared her because it sounded very much like the truth.
�
��Theron told me. I didn’t realize what he meant until I saw for myself. ‘Tis time we left,” he said and reached for her.
She flinched away from him. “Leaving here is my decision.” She knew she could make him stay. There was no way he would leave her, he cared too much.
“If that’s the way you want it.” He slowly rose to his feet, his jaw set firmly.
She didn’t smile, though it was a close thing. He was testing her, to see if she could give in, but she wouldn’t be the one to give in. Not this time. “’Tis the way I want it.”
“Then this is good-bye.”
She missed the sadness in his eyes while she tried to hide her grin. “Good-bye then.”
He walked to the table and stopped by it for a moment before walking out the door.
He’ll be back just like before.
It bothered her somewhat that he had left without a backward glance. She slid down until her head rested on the pillow. She would go to sleep and wake to find him next to her.
If you wake.
* * * *
Dartayous wondered at his sanity. He hoped the plan he had devised would work, if not he would have a lot of explaining to do when he returned to the glen. He didn’t know how long he would wait for her, but he would wait. If she loved him as she said, then she would come after him when she realized he had really left.
She hadn’t fooled him. He had seen the dirt on her feet from last night. She had come after him, or started to. It was what sparked his idea. Now all he had to do was wait and hope that she did as he planned.
He sat down and leaned back against the stone pillar. Theron had never told him how to get back, but he had an inkling that the pillars had something to do with it.
A lot rested on hope.
Too much actually.
* * * *
The dreamless sleep that had occupied Moira could no longer be found. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Dartayous’ bright blue gaze staring at her, calling her to join him.
Her eyes flew open. She sat up and looked around the cottage expecting to find Dartayous lounging nearby, but she was alone. She had no idea how long he had been gone, but she did know he wasn’t there. A glint off something on the table caught her attention.