The Hunger (Rogues of Scotland #2) Page 4

  “Apparently no’,” he mumbled

  She used her shoulder to move hair out of her face. “There’s nothing wrong with being alone.”

  “Other than being lonely?” he asked. “You can no’ claim no’ to be lonely, lass.”

  Her chopping paused for a heartbeat. “On occasion.”

  “Do you no’ want a husband and bairns?”

  “I did at one time.”

  Intrigued, Morcant sat forward so that his arms rested on his knees. “What happened?”

  “I was left alone. Then I took a good look at what was available in the village, and realized I’d rather be alone.”

  Morcant scratched his beard. “I doona believe a bonny lass such as yourself didna have offers from men of other clans during Highland Games and such.”

  “I had one or two,” she said flippantly.

  That’s when he comprehended what she wasn’t saying. “You didna want to leave your land.”

  “Aye.” Her response was barely a whisper.

  “If you were part of my clan, I wouldna allow you to remain alone. If you didna wish to marry, I’d ensure there was someone checking in on you and helping when you needed.”

  She chuckled, smiling over her shoulder at him. “You say that as if you’ve ruled a clan before.”

  Morcant leaned back in his chair and looked away. Until that moment, he hadn’t allowed himself to think of what was now out of reach. Once again, wave after wave of regret, guilt, and fury assaulted him. All because he had let his cock rule him.

  He knew that wasn’t the only reason. Even if he hadn’t taken Denisa’s maidenhead, he would have defended Ronan, which would likely have landed him in the same predicament.

  “Morcant?”

  His gaze jerked to Leana to find her half turned to him, her forehead furrowed in question. “My father was laird,” he explained. “I was the second son of four. My father was killed in an ambush along with my mother, and my elder brother came close to dying. I took over while he recovered.”

  “And after?” she pressed.

  “After, I was there for my brother. I did what was needed.”

  “But you enjoyed leading.”

  For the first time, Morcant admitted to what he hadn’t even been able to confess to his friends. “Aye. Verra much.”

  “I know you want to find your friends, but is it wise to return to your clan?”

  “Probably no’, but that’s the best place to begin.”

  She nodded and turned back to the food. “I’ve not stopped to ask how you’re feeling. You seem to be taking all of this so...well.”

  “What I feel willna change how things are.”

  “You can’t just ignore your emotions.”

  He smiled then. “Och, lass, but you sound like my mother.”

  Leana ducked her head, but he didn’t miss the small smile that tilted up the corners of her mouth. She had no idea how charming she was, how uttering mesmerizing he found her.

  He fisted his hands, not for his sword, but because he longed to touch her again, to slide his fingers into the long, cool length of her dark hair and hold her against him as he sampled her inviting lips.

  Morcant suddenly stood. If he remained, he would do something stupid like try to touch her again. “I’m going to...” He trailed off since he didn’t know what to do. “I’ll be outside,” he finished and stalked from the cottage.

  Once outside, he drew in a deep breath and fought against the desire that raged. Would he ever be rid of it? If he eased himself now, would he find relief? He briefly thought of going to the village and finding the widow Leana had spoken of, but the thought of leaving Leana alone didn’t sit right with him.

  Morcant couldn’t explain the silent urging telling him he had to remain close to her, as if he were being forewarned of something. He couldn’t ignore the warning any more than he could pretend he wasn’t adrift in a time he didn’t know or belong in.

  He walked to the stream and knelt against the grass before he splashed the cold water on his face. With water dripping from his beard, he looked up and let his gaze roam over the rugged landscape.

  Unable to resist, he plunged his hands back into the water. How he had missed the feel of it on his hands. One of his favorite things was to swim, and he had been denied that for far too long.

  There would be a loch somewhere close, and Morcant would find it soon. Then he would spend hours in the water making up for lost time.

  He dropped his chin to his chest as he pulled his hands from the stream. He was being tugged in several directions. There was his need to find out what had happened to Daman, Ronan, and Stefan, the desire to protect Leana, and then his wants like swimming, laying upon the ground and staring up at the sky, holding his sword in his hand, and riding upon a fast steed.

  If he remained, he could accomplish two of the three, but then how could he face himself every day if he didn’t learn about his friends?

  Morcant sat, the uncomfortable weight of decisions settling over him. He hadn’t minded the decisions while he acted as laird, but that was for the clan, not for himself.

  As late afternoon turned into evening, Morcant watched the sun sink behind the mountains and the sky turn to orange and deep red with a smile upon his face. The sunset would be seared into his memory, not just because it was beautiful, but because it was the first time he had seen color in over two hundred years.

  And he had no one to share it with. His smile faded as he thought of Leana. He wanted to call her out to join him, and as he was about to do just that, he stopped. Being too close to her was a temptation he didn’t need. Leana had been kind. The least he could do was keep from touching her.

  Morcant let out a breath and leaned back on his hands. As the sky darkened, it reminded him too much of his prison, causing him to become agitated and anxious. He stood and walked to the forest to gather wood. After he stacked it by the cottage, he checked the gate holding the chickens. Next, he walked the perimeter of the cottage looking for anything out of the ordinary.

  Only when there was nothing else for him to do did he return to the stream and pace back and forth hoping the trickle of water would calm him as Leana did.

  But it didn’t.

  Morcant dropped his head back as he clenched his teeth. Then he opened his eyes and saw the stars. The pinpricks of light reminded him he was no longer in the darkness.

  His breathing evened and his heart stopped racing. A bright light to his left drew his gaze. Morcant turned his head and spotted the full moon that crept over the mountains. The simple beauty of it held him transfixed, captivated.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Leana stood in the doorway of the cottage staring at Morcant. The way he looked at the moon hit her right in the heart. She didn’t think he realized the joy and sheer delight his expression stated.

  Since she had found him and he woke, he’d kept himself tightly controlled, but eventually, he would come unwound. Remorse weighed heavily upon him. Even with that weight, he stood proud and strong, almost as if daring the world to try and crush him.

  She had never been courageous enough to do that. It was all she could do to face each day, and yet a small victory came with each evening.

  Leana was drawn to Morcant. She couldn’t deny it, nor did she want to. He placed no demands on her. He accepted her for who she was. She wondered if that was just the type of man he was, or if it was because he was in a world two centuries later than when he had last seen it?

  She shook her head. Nay, Morcant might be struggling to come to terms with things, but that’s not why he treated her the way he did. Perhaps that was the reason she hadn’t pulled away from his touch earlier.

  The simple truth was that he confused her. He made her forget her need to be independent and free of a man’s rule. All Morcant made her think of was heated touches, sighs of ecstasy, and nights of pleasure.

  She licked her lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. In all her years, she’d had only on
e kiss, and that had been from William when he first tried to woo her. It had been rough, sloppy, and wet.

  Morcant’s kiss would be the exact opposite. It was the easy way he moved, as if he were one with the world, as if he knew he owned it and didn’t care what others thought that made her so certain.

  His touch earlier had been light and gentle, but insistent enough so that she knew he was there. Her stomach trembled just thinking about how he had held her securely, and how she had given in and rested her head back against him.

  Did he have any idea how much that little bit of weakness had cost her? She didn’t think he did, nor did he fathom how much she gained from setting her burdens on his wide, thick shoulders for a short time.

  Leana stepped from the cottage and made her way toward Morcant as if some unknown force pulled them together. It frightened her, this undeniable power that ruled her body. Mostly because it felt...right.

  She stopped a few feet from him. He was bathed in moonlight as he tilted his face upward with his eyes closed. The complete happiness on his face made her heart skip a beat.

  “Even with my eyes closed I can see the light,” he said softly. His head turned to her as his lids lifted to spear her with his topaz gaze.

  That’s when she realized it was the night that reminded him of his prison. She’d had a glimpse of it and knew first hand the utter darkness that once surrounded him.

  Leana closed the distance between them and tugged a strand of his hair caught in his beard. “There is light all around you.”

  “Aye,” he whispered and ran a hand down her face. His gaze intensified as he caught and held hers. “None more so than what stands before me now. You’ve no idea how beautiful the moonlight looks on you.”

  She wasn’t sure how to respond. Leana began to back away, when his hand halted her with the soft grasp of her arm.

  “Doona leave. Please,” he pleaded. He glanced away, his smile replaced with a frown of regret. “I’ve been alone so long I no longer remember how to act. Forgive me if I upset you.”

  “It’s me,” she hurried to say. “I don’t know how to act when receiving a compliment.”

  Leana could once more feel the heat of him they were so close, and again, she didn’t want to move away. She wanted to be closer. All too clearly, she recalled the feel of his muscles as she had touched him earlier. Her gaze lowered to his chest. His shirt still hung open, giving her an eyeful of hard sinew.

  Her mouth went dry as she thought about his shirt and kilt being gone, his body bared to her to explore as long as she wanted. The uncontrollable, irresistible need was making her forget everything else.

  With her heart pounding, she raised her gaze to his face. Palpable desire hung between them. Her mouth went dry when his eyes dropped to her lips. Her lips parted of their own accord as if seeking his kiss.

  “Supper is ready,” she blurted out.

  Just like that, a wall came down, shutting him away. “Of course.”

  Leana closed her eyes as he walked past. She wanted that kiss. So why had she spoken? Why couldn’t she have let it happen?

  Because you know he’ll leave you like the others.

  Yes, that was part of it, but the other part was that she was too afraid to take the chance of finding anything so wonderful, only to realize it wasn’t hers to have.

  Leana turned on her heel and followed Morcant into the cottage.

  ~ ~ ~

  It was the longest night of Morcant’s life. Leana’s meal had been amazing, even if the conversation was stilted. She hadn’t asked him to stay, and he hadn’t tried to talk her into it.

  She expected him to go to the village but he hadn’t. Though he probably should have. Instead, Morcant remained in the woods behind Leana’s cottage watching over her.

  Unable to sleep, his mind was in a whirlwind. His thoughts drifted from his friends, to Ilinca who had cursed him, to the family he no longer had. However, mostly he thought of Leana.

  The woman was driving him mad with desire, and she didn’t even know it. He found it ironic that in the past, he would have simply moved on to another woman.

  It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to find another woman but that no other would do. He had done no more than touch Leana, and yet the longing to have her was greater than anything he had ever experienced.

  An eternity later, the sun finally broke the mountains. Morcant decided it was time to learn more about the village and the threat from the MacKay clan. Until he knew how imminent the threat was, he couldn’t start to look for his friends.

  ~ ~ ~

  Leana walked to the cottage with the hare dangling from her fingers and the bow in her other hand. It didn’t take long to skin the rabbit and set it to roasting over the fire. She dusted off her hands and looked around her home. Morcant had made it seem small, but without him in it, it just seemed...empty.

  Her gaze snagged on the sword. She claimed to be able to take care of herself, and in most cases she could, but Morcant was right. She couldn’t stand against more than one man if attacked.

  Leana grasped the pommel with her right hand, and with her left, removed the scabbard from the sword. The weapon was so heavy that she had to hold it with both hands as she walked outside.

  She was never more thankful of living alone as she was when she tried to swing the sword. The weight of it caused her to lose her balance as it swung downward. She had no choice but to let go of it as she fell.

  With a sigh, she climbed back to her feet and started again. Each time she fell, she got back up and kept trying. It didn’t take long for her arms to begin shaking from the weight of the sword. If she continued, she was liable to take her foot off.

  Leana was putting the sword back in the house when she heard a horse approach. She quickly notched an arrow and aimed it in the direction of the rider. Even when she spotted the dark red hair of William, she didn’t lower the arrow. He reined his horse quickly, causing the animal to turn to the side and snort in protest.

  “What are you doing, Leana?” William asked gruffly. “You know it’s me.”

  She raised a brow. “So?”

  “Lower the weapon, damn you.”

  “What do you want?”

  He glared at her weapon a moment. “I came to see if you were all right. There’s talk that someone saw you with a man yesterday.”

  “That’s none of your concern.”

  “It is,” he said affronted. “You’re mine, Leana, you just doona realize it yet.”

  She rolled her eyes. “When did you hear about this strange man, William? Yesterday? Before or after you were at the pub? If you were so concerned for me, then you should’ve come immediately.”

  His face went red with anger. “That’s no’ fair, woman, and you know it.”

  “Thank you for the concern, but as I’ve told you, I don’t need it.”

  “You do,” he stated, his face still red as he started to dismount.

  Leana pulled back the string on the bow. “I wouldn’t do that unless you want this arrow in your gut. Find yourself a wife. The widow has all but thrown herself at you. Besides, you sleep in her bed nearly every night.”

  “How do you know that?” he demanded taken aback.

  She didn’t bother answering, and a heartbeat later, he swung his horse around and galloped off. Leana lowered the bow. It was a good thing William had been far enough away not to see how her arms shook holding the string.

  “So that was William.”

  Leana jerked around to find Morcant standing at the side of the cottage with his arms crossed and a small smile playing about his wide lips. “How long have you been there?”

  “Long enough to tell you that if you’re going to use that sword, you’re going to need someone to teach you.”

  She looked inside the cottage to the sword lying on the table. “It’s a heavy sword.”

  “It was made for a man.”

  “You’ve seen swords made for women?”

  He shook his head. �
��Nay, but that doesna mean it can no’ be done.”

  “That’s your sword.”

  He stared her a long while, and then gave a single nod.

  “I found it just before you appeared,” she explained. “Why didn’t you just take it from me.”

  “As you said, you found it.”

  Leana set the bow and arrow aside. “You could’ve overpowered me at any time. You could’ve taken it when I wasn’t looking.”

  “I’m no’ that kind of man.”

  “Nay, you’re not.”

  Once more, she was held by his topaz gaze. His long, sandy blonde hair was pulled back in a queue, making his face look harsher.

  He dropped his arms and pushed away from the cottage. He hesitated a second before walking slowly to her. “William is a big man, but the imprint we found yesterday was bigger.”

  “Which means it was someone else.”

  “Aye. Are you worried?”

  She wasn’t as long as he was there, but he had to find his friends. Leana couldn’t ask him to stay. It wouldn’t be right. “Did you come back for your sword?”

  “Nay.”

  “Did you come back to tell me about the boot print?”

  He shook his head.

  “Then why did you come back?”

  “I never left.”

  Leana tried to hide her surprise. Her voice was breathless as she asked, “Why?”

  “You, Leana. I’m here because of you.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  “I don’t understand.”

  Morcant wasn’t sure he did either, but he wasn’t going to fight the draw he had to Leana. Every time he did, it felt as if he were pushing against fate.

  He halted several paces from her. “I tried leaving this morning. I got as far as the village before I turned around.”

  She blinked slowly, her lips parting slightly.

  Morcant shrugged. “I didna even have to enter the village to discover the people are afraid. The castle near here, Ravensclyde, do you know it?”